On Happiness and Willa Cather

Question of the day: what will I get out of sitting at my computer, typing out a message, and sending it into cyberspace for anyone--and potentially no one--to read?

I am not sure of the answer, but I am giving it a try anyway.

I think writing things down can be therapeutic. Or at least that has been my experience; drink the language-elixir and feel better.

Presently, I am in the midst of reading a novel written by Willa Cather entitled "My Antonia". It is really great, really, really great! It is the best novel I have read out of the seven books I have been through already this summer. I am not even half way through, but there have already been a myriad of lines, paragraphs, and phrases that are absolutely and entirely stunning. Brilliant even. Cather is a fabulous author, and it may be hasty to do so, but I recommend that you read "My Antonia" even though I have not finished it myself. Here is my favourite passage from the novel so far:

"Nothing happened. I did not expect anything to happen. I was something that lay under the sun and felt it, like the pumpkins, and I did not want to be anything more. I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep."

I like this thought about happiness. I remember feeling just like Cather describes; it was a year-and-so ago sitting alone in the Lord's Lot Wood (England) with my eyes closed and the warmth of the setting sun resting on my eyelids. The smell of lingering rain drops shivering on pine needles. Crisp spring air. Completely dissolved in nature and spirit and love and God...and I did not ask for it. The happiness came and dwelt with me like a good night's rest. Nothing happened. I was still and I knew. And I felt what I perceive to be real happiness in that lonely wood.

And I have felt this happiness many times since then. It is not that my life has been perfect. Indeed, there are pieces that have become so emaciated...but I am willing to trust God to use me and guide me despite my mistakes and wrongdoings. Honestly enough, some days I wish I could turn the clocks back and fix the "Problem," but I suppose I am seeing that I must allow and accept myself to fail at times and learn to trust God and His grace more.

So, if you are reading this, and you are flawed and imperfect like me--be encouraged, and have hope. God can use you. You have a gift only you can give to the world.