On Uncomfortable Moments and Bicycle Rides

Losing someone you were once close to is hard. Whether they have passed from this life, moved to a new city, or chosen a different path than you have, it hurts. At points in the past year, I have felt the malaise of friendship lost and the sting of loneliness; how sadness and discomfort can creep up and consume one so very quickly.

And honestly, I used to be a little angry about what happened between this person and I. It is difficult to believe the old adage "'tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" when the ache rests so heavily on your shoulders. But I am learning to be thankful for the pain. I think if you can feel the pain of loss so strongly, you can know that you truly loved and that you are strong enough to love again in the future.

So I am feeling quite at peace even though this friendship is not where I wish it was. I have grown up so much and I know I still have a long way to go...

I have gone from feeling a rush of panic to feeling comfortable in my own skin when I am reminded of the loss. I even feel beautiful despite having a mouth full of braces and no boyfriend. Contentment from God is amazing.

So even in the uncomfortable moments like today, when a person I loved will not even look at me anymore, I can know there is nothing wrong with me. I can pray for this dear friend and maybe in time we can sit down for a coffee together again. Or go for a bicycle ride. There is something about a long bicycle ride that brings me a lot of joy. My legs feel loose and I see the prairie landscape whir past me. I pedal into the skyline faster and faster until I feel like I can leave the ground and soar up into the clouds. If you take the right person with you, it makes the experience twenty times better--I promise.

If you are reading this, will you go for a bicycle ride with me?