I have enjoyed this autumn in most regards thus far. Something that has been on my mind throughout the fall is the significance of determining outlets that are life-giving. Asking myself, "will this bring life?" and "will this bring joy?" has, in part, kept me sane in this flurry of work and exams and stress I live in right now. It's been enriching to think about these things because I realize now that there are many things that bring me joy, even though I feel like my life is rather boring at times.
Things like:
-playing the piano (few things bring me more joy than this)
-my 4 year old class that I teach
-receiving hand written letters from people I love
-running on the track at school
-reading in the bathtub
-learning new words
-learning new things, in general
-the crisp crunch of snow when I walk on it
-all things Brian Regan
-riding the bus early in the morning
-tomato soup on cold days
And so on. To be truly thankful for these things is a good feeling. I am glad that people are capable of not just being alive, but feeling alive. And of feeling joy.
Also, I find joy in adventure. To me, adventure is the ultimate romance. I do not require dinners or dances or roses to be romanced. I am not longing for a man to shower me in jewelry and chocolates or whatever it is people give as romantic gifts these days. But as much as I hate to admit it, I do want romance, perhaps even as much as the average girl out there.
But I am looking for a redefined romance--for someone to go adventuring with in significant and unimportant things, in the big and small, in the seriousness of the recesses of the heart and in the overflows of laughter of the soul.
The greatest challenge for me in the matters of romance is cynicism. While my questioning nature lends itself well to my pursuits as a scientist, it is not as supportive to quests of the heart. Yet, I am doing my best at holding out hope for the redefined romance as I wait. If you see it, would you let me know?
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