Hey!
It's crazy to think it's April already. Every day and every week has felt full and long for me, yet in my mind it was August only moments ago. But here I am, almost done my first year of medicine.
I love medicine. I don't know if I have explicitly stated that here yet. It feels good to say it. I LOVE medicine. It's amazing to look back at this journey I have been on since I was fifteen or sixteen. I have seldom had moments of clarity regarding the direction I should take in life. But being here...becoming a doctor...just feels right for me. It's natural. I'm excited about it. Doctoring is and will be my life and my art.
As I have been getting ready for exams and for my northern practicum this summer the concepts of seeking relationship with the Lord and being ready to submit to his will have really been on my heart. In general I feel that it is pretty easy and natural for us to seek relationships with other people, whether they be romances or friendships or both. It's easy for us to get excited about getting to know someone deeply in that context. We'll say the right things, do the right things, manipulate circumstances and interactions to maximize our chances to get close to those who we are interested in knowing deeply. I've done this and I've seen people creating the same pattern with me. But to what end? I've had a reminder in this season that I belong to the Lord and must respond accordingly. My thoughts and actions should be focused on getting to know Him deeply within the context of my life. Of course we are meant to seek out relationships with others along the journey. But our foremost loyalty, the firstfruits of our love and energy, belong to God. In light of that, here's a prayer that's been meaningful for me lately:
Night Prayer (my adaptation, from David Elginbrod in "The Wind from the Stars")
oh Lord
who keeps the stars alight
and our souls burning
with a light even greater than the stars
grant that we may shine before thee
as the stars do:
forever and ever.
who keeps the stars alight
and our souls burning
with a light even greater than the stars
grant that we may shine before thee
as the stars do:
forever and ever.
and as you hold the stars
burning in the night
even when no one sees them
so hold the light
burning in our souls--
when we see neither thee nor it
but are buried in the darkness of sleep and forgetfulness.
burning in the night
even when no one sees them
so hold the light
burning in our souls--
when we see neither thee nor it
but are buried in the darkness of sleep and forgetfulness.
be with us
just as a mother sits by the bedside
of her wailing infant through the long night.
yet be even nearer to us,
be in our very souls
and watch over the world of dreams
they make for themselves.
just as a mother sits by the bedside
of her wailing infant through the long night.
yet be even nearer to us,
be in our very souls
and watch over the world of dreams
they make for themselves.
grant that more and more thoughts
of your thinking may come into our hearts
day by day
until there is an open road
between thou and us
and your angels ascend and descend upon us
so that we may be part of your kingdom
even while we walk upon your earth.
of your thinking may come into our hearts
day by day
until there is an open road
between thou and us
and your angels ascend and descend upon us
so that we may be part of your kingdom
even while we walk upon your earth.
amen.
More coming soon. But first I must force my brain to study the brain. :)
E.
